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On Father’s Day, onions aren’t just for cleaning the grill. Like Shrek and his layers, there are many levels to the day for me. Father’s Day has had so many meanings for me over the years, but with each year I age, there’s something new I uncover about the meaning of the day to me. But no matter what, I always feel the same that I’m grateful for what my dad gave me.

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• Father's Day Choices

• Moments with Maurice

• What's Got Me Smilin'

Father’s Day Choices

The beauty of getting older is that you start to see the layers underneath things that you didn’t know existed as a child. As your worldview opens, so does your understanding of what each moment brings.

Time with friends isn’t just a way to blow off steam; you’ll have random conversations in the middle of an inconsequential place that will alter your very fiber of being. Seeing something on your drive to work hits you with a perspective you’d never considered. One of the biggest things I hear from new parents is that they have so much empathy and respect for their parents; they realize that the wonderful atmosphere of being a child doesn’t just happen, it’s manufactured through careful actions. As you get older, you realize more goes into everything, and that you can get more from everything if you choose to look deeper.  

This is how Father’s Day is for me. 

My biological father is not someone with whom I had a relationship with. My stepfather (the one I refer to as a “Dad”) filled the father void for me in every conceivable way. He took risks and sacrifices to love my family and even had to butt heads with my grandmother to be part of our lives. Sadly, he passed away from cancer many years ago.

Thinking about missed opportunities with my dad can make Father’s Day feel bittersweet. He shows up in so many areas of my life, usually when I least expect it, and I’m lucky to still feel his presence and influence. Nevertheless, days like Father’s Day can feel tricky. 

But in the last several years, Father’s Day has taken on a new meaning for me. Men around me started to stand out as father figures, whether it be due to having kids of their own or because they stepped into roles that mimicked aspects of fatherhood. I found myself, not caught in the sadness, wishing my dad were here, but in the pride of seeing these men in my life step into roles that demonstrated what good men they are.

I appreciate my dad and what he did for us more now that I understand his actions more.

Father’s Day became a day that wasn’t just one day of the year where we got to do all the things that Dad wanted to do. It wasn’t just the day we got him cards or crafts, all the while wondering (at least once) why we were celebrating dads on Father’s Day, when we kids were the ones who were the reason he was a dad. 

Father’s Day is now the representation and celebration of what it means to be a good father and a good man, because from where I sit, being those two things is a choice. It’s a choice that I saw my Dad make every day of our lives from the time he came into them, to the time he left this earth. It wasn’t always the easiest option for him, but it was the one that showed us love, taught us lessons, and put us closer on the path to being good people.

When I see my friends making those same choices, I can’t help but swell with pride because I know the good they’re putting into the world. I’ve been on the receiving end of both sides, and I know the ripple effect that can come from both.

So next Sunday, I won’t just be celebrating my dad and the way he raised us, loved my family, and cared for my mom, but also the men who have stood up to the challenge and made the active choice to be wonderful fathers, in whatever capacity that might be. 

It’s not just about how high my dad could toss me, or how long he spent in the car with me on his lap, teaching me how to drive. It’s the way he stood his ground when people said our family was wrong and not natural, giving us the takeaway that love can’t be defined by what you see. It’s the determination he put forth, working to prove to my grandmother that he was the man he said he was. It’s the feeling of warmth that I get thinking about how close he and my grandmother became, a true testament to Great Things taking time.

Father’s Day celebrates the way I see all these actions reflected in my friends and the men I know. It reminds me that the legacy of a good father in your life doesn’t just stop with one person, it doesn’t have to be biological, and it certainly doesn’t have to look “traditional”.  

Happy Father’s Day to the men in the world who lift us up, who love us, and who make the tough choices, may you be reminded of how grateful we are for your influence, and may you get all the perfectly cooked steak you could dream of.

Moments with Maurice

If you only pause to reflect on your life for one moment today, do it now.

Obstacles To Your Great Things: Opportunities To Give Up

When have you done enough, and it’s just time to throw in the towel? Well, if it’s something you really want, the answer is never. Sometimes we view failure as a sign that this Great Thing isn’t right for us. But how many opportunities have we had to go for it? 

Olympians have a chance every four years, if everything goes to plan, that is. If they don’t win gold, should they give up? You beat out all but one person in the job interview and didn’t get the role. Should you never apply for a position like that again? You still have more skills to learn or levers to pull. Should you quit without trying those things to see if they work for you?

I think you know the answer to all the above, but when it comes to your own life, it can be easy to talk yourself into believing that it isn’t for you. It’s just not yet, and you’ll know why eventually.

Because no matter what, there is always something to smile about.

Damn, They Put Their Foot In This!

Tastes like vacation?! In New York?! Sold! This weekend’s excellent meal felt so light and summery. Perhaps I could attempt to recreate this at home?

Greasy Boy

It’s been awhile since I shared some of my favorite cars from the weekend. How lucky am I that I can be out and about and feel like a kid in the candy store.

Remember:

-Adrian