Holiday Disappointment

It's real and it's okay to feel it.

Author

Adrian Williams
November 25, 2024

Welcome To The Community

Together, we’ll dive deep and find the strength to never give up because Great Things Take Time.

Ah, the holiday season. It’s kinda like The Office if you really think about it. There’s laughter, things get messy, feel heartfelt, but it also can be a bit weird. 

There are work holiday parties, friend parties, and parties in the aisles of Trader Joe's when they release Jingle Jangle. There is Family Gathering A, Family Gathering B, and finding time to see your relative who would never be caught dead with Family groups A, B, or C. You’ll stay up way too late one night and skip out on something for an early bedtime another night. 

But through the blur of the next several weeks, there might be a pang of something less than jolly.

Holiday disappointment. It’s a real thing.

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When Holiday Cheer Doesn’t Come

The holidays can be a wonderful time when we reunite with loved ones. Whether through consumerism or just general sentiment, joy is emphasized. But it can feel difficult when we feel like we’re forcing joy because we miss something. There is a broad spectrum of holiday disappointment. 

For some, the holiday season doesn’t feel the same as adults because they are the ones making the magic by scheduling the events, wrapping the presents, or decorating the home. They don’t just wake up one day to find the house wrapped in holiday cheer. It takes brutal planning and commitment for that effortless holiday vibe.

For others, all they wish for is autonomy over how their holiday is spent. Not being required to spend it with family or friend groups. Maybe they miss the days of football, a good meal, and a long walk. 

Others wish they didn’t have to spend the holidays alone. No matter the dynamics, being in a room with people is what they crave most.

Some like to reminisce about their time as the reigning Turkey Trot champ. Those were the glory days.

If you feel disappointed this year, don’t push it down; your feelings are justifiable. Feel validated in knowing that it’s okay to miss previous years, but don’t let that overshadow what you’re living right now.

Is It Sad, Or Is It Just Honest?

If you’re having a hard time in the moment to appreciate where you are, try to see it 10 years from now:

Maybe your dog who ate half the turkey will have passed away from old age. 

Grandma and Grandpa won’t be around to tell the same story they do every time you’re together. 

Your kids might not even be in the same room as they’ll have families of their own or priorities that will take them away from you. 

The children in your family won’t appreciate the magic of the holidays (maybe it’s Santa or Krampus).

The point of this isn’t to be morbid and remind you that everyone’s going to die and nothing will ever be the same again. It’s to remind you that things WILL change. Your holiday season will never be like this one again. 

As good ole Nard Dog (Andy Bernard) says, “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” 

Sharing my thoughts on being Assistant to the Regional Manager

(This is another Office reference; I currently don’t have any friends I call Nard Dog. But if I did.. Who do you think it would be?)

You might not have realized that what you’re experiencing is something you’ll hold dear in your heart for years to come. Even the toughest moments can stick with us (yes, even the dog eating your turkey. It will be a hilarious story to tell in the future).

When Holiday Disappointment Strikes

My best advice when holiday disappointment strikes? Try hard not to lean into comparison.

Leave space to reminisce about the memories you’ve had from years prior and celebrate the people you made them with, but then acknowledge that you’re in a different time. Celebrate where you are right now (easier said than done, I know), and just stay off your damn phone! You don’t want to miss a single detail of Cousin Ted’s wild story because you’re looking at Jordan’s picture-perfect Instagram life. Spoiler alert: It’s probably not perfect; they probably cried in the bathroom at least once.

But above all else, don’t hold yourself back from enjoying the holidays because they don’t look the same as they did in previous years. There are new things to discover and new celebrations to be had. Don’t miss a Great Thing because you’re afraid to take a chance.

Share Your Holiday Stories

I’d love to share the unique dishes we celebrate our holidays with in upcoming newsletters! Submit your holiday recipes and the story about what makes them special here. Got a photo that encapsulates the dish perfectly? Let me see!

Moments with Maurice

This past week, things looked a little different.

Wednesday’s content discussed feelings of stagnancy and boredom. I’ve been struggling with worrying things in my life were too boring to share, but in the process of opening up about this, I realized it’s those slow and simple moments that provide contrast to the big things.

Reflection: If you haven’t already, write down your thoughts to evaluate why you feel or have felt stagnant, what you’ve achieved over a period of time, what your priorities are, what you can change, and where there is beauty in the little things in your life.

Did anything about this process surprise you?

If you don’t feel stuck, what is it that is making you feel this energized and inspired? Write this down so you can look back on what you might be missing in times you lose that oomph.

Prompt: In times when you feel stagnant, what is the most helpful thing you’ve done for yourself?

I rarely feel stagnant! I remember that being "bored" as a kid meant going outside and finding something to do. I'm 61, so we didn't have video games, social media, or electronics to entertain us. I still (to this day) keep looking for things to learn how to do and challenge my creative skills, so I'm never bored. I'm not necessarily "good" at my art, but I have fun learning and doing new things.

Open your eyes and really look at things that interest you and delve more deeply into those things. I learned pottery, watercolors, quilting, calligraphy, and more.....just by being curious!

Beyond art, I've also learned about caring for wildlife by volunteering at a wildlife sanctuary. Anything that interests me...I go there. Makes life more interesting.

- Lin

I feel like everyone gets stagnant at some point in their life. Whether it’s work-related, relationship with loved ones, partner, etc.… It always has a way of creeping in…Especially at this time of the year, weather changes, dark when you go to work, dark when you get home, it’s like a snowball effect.

For me, it usually means a reset. With kids, sometimes you and your partner can feel like you are living in the divide and conquer mentality. Which let’s get real, in reality you live in this state because you need to “get shit done” and that’s the only way to do so.

For the “reset,” it’s as easy as a date night with your partner, family time at the movies, picking up the phone and calling a family member, or binge-watching your favorite show until the sun comes up. It’s whatever gives you a sense of relief and the time to reflect on life.

When we step back and look at the big picture, we are alive. We are here, and we have people who love us. So take that and run with it. Never take life for granted because we don’t know what tomorrow can bring.

- Ty

What’s Got Me Smilin’

Because no matter what, there is always something to smile about.

Google Happiness

The Google Cloud Northeast Team

This month, I was invited to give a keynote talk at Google HQ for the Google Cloud Northeast Team all-hands meeting to discuss loss and determination, how those things have impacted my life, and the creation of Great Things Take Time.

It’s always an honor to speak on a platform like this, but what stuck with me the most was the warmth that exuded from everyone I met and interacted with. A leader of a team sets the tone for how a team operates, and at one of the biggest names in tech, there was a notable compassionate human leadership. It brings a smile to my face to be reminded of the humanity in the world.

A huge thanks to Kristin O'Donoghue (a kind and compassionate leader, below top left) and Aaron Reinitz (below top right, making me evaluate my grip strength and need for more bicep curls) for being so welcoming and allowing me to share my story and the legacy I want to leave in honor of Nana.

Toughest question I was asked at Google: what are my favorite songs. Because I can’t pick just one, below are my top three favorites. These will hype me up enough to run through a wall!

See You Next Time

Thanks for being with me on this journey. Over the last few months I’ve shared a lot of my life, and in turn learned so much about you all. It’s an honor to start your week and inspires me every day to hear about your wins. I know Great Things Take Time is far from perfect, but together I hope we can grow it into exactly what it’s meant to be.

Remember:

-Adrian

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