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Together, we’ll dive deep and find the strength to never give up because Great Things Take Time.

Does the future scare you sometimes? For me, it certainly does. I’m talking about the keep-me-up-at-night-worries that get so bad I need to jump in my car to drive away from them. 

Spoiler alert: You can’t drive away from those worries.

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Here's what's in today's email

• When The Future Scares You

• Moments with Maurice

• Collective Member Highlight

• What's Got Me Smilin'

When The Future Scares You

The hardest thing about the future for me is the worry about being able to provide for my family, myself, and the life I want. You’ve heard me share often that tomorrow’s not promised, and I think about that often. 

My grandmother’s death was that one big event that changed me deeply and how I approach life. Because of this, there are times when I remind myself that other people who I hold deeply could leave me just as abruptly. It’s a lesson in preparing for the inevitable, so I don’t take anything for granted.  

But living in fear is no way to live your life. We can’t constantly be looking around for something that we missed, worried that we skipped out on a big opportunity. 

Find Quiet Time

Before I even start to decode my feelings about anxiety of the future, I have to find a way I can actually LISTEN to my thoughts, not just push them down. We all have a time when we can go inward and reflect on what we’re feeling. For me, this is why I take solo drives with no music, and it allows me to be present with my thoughts and actually listen to myself. Regular journaling, even just writing down a brief description of general emotions to get an idea of patterns, is also helpful for me, as is finding time to be in nature. I’ve heard people share they get the same feelings on runs, in museums, on long walks or even in the shower. What you do and where you go isn’t important, it matters whether or not you can hear your own thoughts or not.

If you don’t want to be alone with your thoughts, that is a whole other thing you’ll need to work on.

Why Are Things Scary?

The first thing I do when I realize the future is stressing me out is to figure out what about the future is scary. Sometimes, it’s not always obvious, which is why I need that time to remove myself from distractions and ask myself some questions.

Is it the idea of getting old and not being able to do the same things I used to do, or that I’ll have limited time to tackle something?  Is it that I won’t get enough time with the people I love? Or is it that there are so many variables that I can’t control? 

Will I have enough time to do all the things on my bucket list? It seems like just yesterday I was turning 18; now I’m 41. I’m clearly never going to be an NFL superstar, what else is out of my reach? (I’m kidding on this one, but it illustrates the feeling of having something out of your reach.)

With fitness as my job, longevity is always a worry. Should something happen that doesn’t allow me to move at the same caliber, does that mean things are over for me? 

I work to identify the specific anxiety that’s keeping me up at night. Knowing your worry gives you power over it.

The Controllables

No, this isn’t the hot new rock band filled with wild performers. These are things you have a handle on. No leather pants, crazy hairstyles, or other questionable actions unless you choose. 

When it comes to worrying about the future, I know I can only move forward if I figure out what I can influence. There is a lot I can’t control, and instead of focusing on that, I feel more power when I focus on what I can control. 

If longevity is my worry, what can I do daily to ensure I’m headed in the right direction? For me, that looks like saying goodbye to schedules that make me feel like shit or programs that set me up for injury. I don’t recover like I used to. 

We all have unique things that change as we age. Some of us are impacted more than others, and it’s important not to compare ourselves to what others continue to do. Genetics, resources, and commitments are key in how we age (again, not all controllable!!!).

At 3 am when I can’t sleep, I come back to the things that I can control to provide me comfort. You’re more likely to find success when you have a plan. The same can be said for your future and what you put your energy into. 

Sacrifices Priorities 

This is an important reframing of my mind. I’m not sacrificing something; I’m prioritizing something else. Does it feel better to say I can’t stay up late most nights to catch up on TV, social gatherings, or other things I’m missing out on? Or does it feel better to say that I’m going to bed early to give my body the rest it needs to feel amazing during the day and set myself up for success?

If I’m prioritizing feeling good, I’m not going to think of what I’m missing out on. That opens the door to limitless anxiety and worry about FOMO (always at 3 am, it seems). Did I want to be a Pro Football player? At 3 am my brain sure seems to think so!

One Day At A Time

Taking everything one day at a time is the last step. I’m worried about the future, but that is 10, 20, 30 years from now. What should I focus on today? What can I do today? When there are people I love, I should be putting my energy towards them, not something months in advance. I don’t want to be so focused on the future that I forget what’s right in front of me. 

Don’t fall prey to immediate gratification, you’re building something Great. It takes time to build Great Things, something you should try to remind yourself at 3 am (I know, easier said than done).

Moments with Maurice

If you only pause to reflect on your life for one moment today, do it now.

Are we prepared to handle the life we’ve dreamed of?

When you set yourself up for Great Things, you also have to be prepared for the less than ideal things that come with those situations. This week, I had The Collective reflect on every complaint and gripe that came up and then decide if it is related to their goals and dreams.

I’m not saying to push aside your problems, they are real and relevant, but it’s important to remember how you might have wished for this exact thing, complaints and all.

You didn’t just come here to listen to me talk… er.. write? The world is made of connections and community and you never know who is going to inspire something in you.

Name: Ivan 

Location: Northern California - Concord - 40 miles east of San Francisco

Hobbies/Interests:

Traveling and getting away with the family. DnD and roleplaying games. I picked it up during Covid and have been running campaigns with the same group of friends from junior high for the last 5 years. I love watching the Premier League on weekend mornings and following my favorite team, Arsenal. Huge fitness buff - I love finding ways to push my body and staying healthy.

A Great Thing you are most proud of achieving: 

I love being a dad and being part of my current company, T-Mobile. One thing that makes me most proud was joining the U.S. Navy and being deployed on a fast attack submarine. It always satisfies that young child feeling of, “I did something really cool” and I look back on it proudly.

A Great Thing you are working on:

Myself. I am trying to get better about being present, rewiring my circuitry (body and brain) to live a long and healthy life. I have Hashimoto’s Disease,  so I’m always checking in on myself and ensuring my thyroid is regulated. I’m putting more of an emphasis on it now, more than anything.

What do you tell yourself when things get hard, you need to find motivation, or you’re feeling down:

At one time, I would say putting on music I know puts a smile on my face. Reflecting a little more deeply, I would say that anytime I feel down, finding good in myself and those around me. At a younger age, I would take negative and turn it into a positive. As I grow more into my role as a father and mentor, I’m looking more of an outward way. Taking feedback - looking at the good, because someone cares enough to give me feedback. Someone’s doing better than me in fitness, how can I be better like them? It’s taking a lot of re-wiring, but I’m getting there.

Your “hot take”:

“We’re all nerds, you know it and I know it.” I’m very open about my nerdiness and I love seeing folks passionate about whatever they love. I think the stigma around being a nerd, at least for me growing up, is changing for the better. I’ll leave this here - Fantasy sports is one dice roll away from a role playing game. 

Because no matter what, there is always something to smile about.

Paint Me Like One Of Your French Girls German Cars

This week in cars: my muse, and a super rare Mercedes CLK63 Black series with a manual transmission. The car almost always came with an automatic transmission so this is super rare. Got me like….

Phone Ate Last

Kossars put their foot in this egg sausage sandwich (no photo because phone did NOT eat first. It’s near work and open early… check ✅ and check ✅ 

i am ¡¡¡¡YELLING!!!!

For the love of everything that is holy, DO YOUR PT EXERCISES AND STRETCH!! It’s not cute to try to not to be mobile and strong.

Remember:

-Adrian