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Together, we’ll dive deep and find the strength to never give up because Great Things Take Time.

We pride ourselves in being busy.. but is that actually a good thing?

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Here's what's in today's email

• Are You Growing? Or Just Busy?

• Moments with Maurice

• What's Got Me Smilin'

Are You Growing? Or Just Busy?

You’ve probably heard it said before that the ultimate luxury is having a free calendar; it means you’ve “made it.” So if you’re in the process of making it, you should probably be really busy, right?

It’s very hard to admit when I’m wrong, but it does happen, and recently I was very wrong. 

See, I have a fear of failure and losing everything. I’ve seen it happen with people close to me and lived it with my mother. There is a lot in life that we achieve due to luck, and there is a lot we can lose due to luck. Sometimes you don’t know if your luck is good or bad until you’re on the other side.

While I know it’s improbable, it feels like at every turn, there is a chance for things to go the wrong way and for me to lose everything. How can I be there for the people I care about if I’m picking up the pieces of my own life?

This means that at times, I find myself in the whirlpool of development. Spinning round and round, looking for growth, where if I could take a bird’s eye view, I’d see that I’m stuck and the only way is down. I’m focused on the next thing, creating the best, being the best, and putting myself into different lanes so that if one fails, there is a backup. 

My desperation to avoid failure is like cross training. If I only ran all the time and there was no stretching or strength training, eventually the wheels would fall off. 

But where I go wrong is when I forget the things outside of the obvious that contribute to success. If we continue with the cross training metaphor, that would be things like diet, sleep, proper footwear, and downtime.

In my life, it means not forgetting about the things and people that make it all worth it. Like the people I want to provide for in one way or another. Which is why it was heartbreaking to hear that again, I had failed my sister. 

I was too busy “growing” that I had failed to be the brother she needed. My fear of failure isn’t necessarily financial; it’s also about providing the love and support to the people I care about. 

Again, how can I be there for the people I care about if I’m picking up the pieces of my own life?

I was called out for not reaching out to my sister, not making time to respond to her messages, and for going against what I try to be. It was a great reminder that “growing” doesn’t always mean a busy and packed schedule. 

My sister is like oxygen. You can’t run far or work hard unless you take a deep breath and get enough air. You can’t progress if you don’t breathe, and I can’t grow if I don’t spend time with someone who inspires me and pushes me.

Being “busy” doesn’t always mean you’re building; sometimes, it's really just poor planning or bad prioritization.

Take time to audit your energy and where you spend your time. How do you feel walking away from situations and people? Do you feel motivated, inspired, or like you broke new ground? Or do you just feel exhausted and burnt out? If something isn’t absolutely required of you and it’s not driving you forward to your Great Things, perhaps you need to re-evaluate.

My recommendation? Bullet journal your days. Take the action, event, or person, and just note the feeling. It doesn’t have to be complicated:

Solo run - energized

Coffee hour - drained

Sister time - recalibrated

Start to look for patterns. When you write things down, it’s harder to lie to yourself or convince yourself of something different. It’s right (write?) there in front of you! Ideally, you should be mostly in a positive space, but if you don’t have things that undo the stress, you’re in for some hard conversations with yourself.

Being busy isn’t a bad thing, but it is if you’re just draining the tank.

Moments with Maurice

If you only pause to reflect on your life for one moment today, do it now.

When You Fail At Recreating The Wheel

Like discussed above, being busy isn’t always a good thing, sometimes there are things that we do that we think we should be doing. They can be redundant or make things feel harder. They can strip us of our energy.

Be mindful about where your energy goes and what restores it? Do you need to have multiple situations that are replicas of each other (example: multiple social media sites), or can you make do with one?

Take a long look at how you feel at the end of the day. Do you need to change anything about it? CAN you change anything about it?

Because no matter what, there is always something to smile about.

Yoga in Times Square

It’s times like these that I’m grateful I add in yoga and stretching on the regular. No matter your opinion on Times Square, doing yoga with Nico and Aditi and countless others made me feel lucky to live where I live.

Damn, They Put Their Foot In This!

Dinner at Montesacro with a friend to fulfill my weekly steak requirement.

Retreat Surveying

Previewing an event space for an upcoming retreat I’m teaching at. Excited to christen a beautiful space with my sweat and the expletives of others thinking when I forget how to count to 10.

CarLights

When there are cars involved, they aren’t just highlights of my week. Below I got to see, hear and experience aspects of one of my favorite things. A new shifter for my E92, a Ferrari at JB Body Works, a scenic view of the one of a place that relaxes me, and a selfie in traffic that does the opposite of relaxing me.

Being near cars always brings a smile to my face because it’s so disconnected from what I do for my work. It gives me a mental reset, allows me space to think, and shakes some things loose.

Words From Mom

Mom’s message ❤️ 

Remember:

-Adrian